Dealbreaker

A cutscene by Augusts Bautra, 2012
Participants: Leon & Stefanie, a couple of three weeks; a barista
Location: a nondescript coffee-shop in the West

  -Hey, I can't speak right now, I'm meeting Stefanie and I can see her coming, I'll call you back later, OK, bye.

Leon exhaled in a forceful whisper and hung up, stuffed the cellphone back in a pocket and took a deep breath. Breaking up with girls was never his strong suit, especially if they were cute and he'd only been on a couple of dates - he liked to give himself time to get to know people since he had found that the first impressions he formed of people were in poor judgement. He couldn't trust himself.

The bell at the top of the door jingled distressingly loudly as Stefanie stepped into the coffee-shop, making Leon break out in cold sweat. The attender only gave her a passing glance, as Stefanie strode right over the hall, her gaze fixated on Leon, face - expressionless. All an act to mask her excitement. She fell in love with men "too quickly" and had sworn to herself to play it cool this time. She was sick and tired of fuck-and-runs.

  -Hey, Stefanie,

Leon stuttered, as he stood up, spilling awkwardness and unease everywhere.

  -Hi, Leon,

Stefanie returned, stressing every syllable, politeness to 11.

Leon was not the type to mince words, he was not about to sit at a table with a woman he was about to break up with making smalltalk and drinking coffee.

   -Can I get you something? Your favorite white mocha, yes?

   -Umm..

   -Actually I think the barista here is a psychic and she's already made you one.

The barista didn't look anything like a psychic to Stefanie (an accountant, perhaps), but there was indeed a white mocha on the plate.

   -Thanks,

Leon said with a face-wide grin letting Stefanie know he had set it up. She might have disliked the presumptuousness of choosing a drink for her another time, but it was her favorite and she though it sweet.

   -Listen, I hope you don't mind..

   -Oh, not at all,

Stefanie feigned disinterest, almost appearing to expect nothing less than instant serving.

   -The reason I rescheduled our Wednesday meeting (not a date, no, not anymore) was because, well, I'm afraid its not gonna work out between us Stefanie. I'm not gonna do the whole "Its not you, its me" or "but we can still be friends" thing. I'm saying I'll be perfectly civil if I meet you again in any circumstance, but you, me, this, whatever it is, will not continue.

Each word made her even more sick, they were like punches to the gut. Stefanie struggled not to spit the mocha out, not the break the composed facade, not to appear one bit affected. She could think of but one word, one desperate plea: "Why?!" Was it her playing hard to get? Will she have to go home alone again and share this miserable story with her married girlfriends over wine coolers?! But, she though, show must go on.

   -Why such a sudden decision, Leon, did something happen? (She wasn't about to lower herself to the wretched "was it something I did?" - reserved for whores and women who''s work was their family and husbands.)

   -Happen, no. To be perfectly honest, Stefanie, it's your smoking. It's a dealbreaker for me. Now, you might think, why didn't I rise this before, and the reasons are twofold - first, you might have not smoked when around me, but that would have been a lie, and second, I wasn't gonna turn around on my heel and walk away the second I saw you smoke - while it is a dealbreaker, hey, maybe your other qualities could make me not give a fuck?

   -So you're saying my "other qualities" didn't turn out quite so good huh.

   -Wh.. Stefanie, no, you know I didn't mean like that. Look, this is not me looking for an excuse to dump you, to be perfectly clear, I think you are great, I think we have great time together and I absolutely hate to do this.

   -So what the fuck!

Stefanie made the sentence start loud and drop in volume till the end, resulting in a delicious effect.

   -Sure, I want no misunderstandings here. My thinking goes like this - there really are only three options. I could ignore it, ask you to quit or end the relationship. I could ignore the smoking for a while, sure. I could just watch the other way as you spend money on cigarettes or tobacco, I could not ask you why you go out every couple of hours, or even buy you a dog so you can smoke when you take it walking, I could even ignore the smell, cuz you smell awesome. Hell, I could even fall in love with you, marry you and watch your health deteriorate, have it reminded to me by the stink of a mouth every time we'd kiss. Little by little it would kill a bit of my heart, until love would turn into hate, loathing and silent rage. I'd hate you for being able to keep killing yourself even while knowing all the facts, I'd hate myself for not being strong enough to help you change. So that is not an option, see. Could I ask you to quit? What would you do if i went: "Stef, you're an amazing girl, but I won't date you if you smoke."? Hm?

   -I don't know.

   -You don't know! Sure you do. You'd blow smoke in my face and tell me to fuck off, calling me a controlling chauvinist pig. And even if you didn't, we'd feel that you had changed for the relationship to work, while I hadn't and we'd start this race for change, blah. So you see that isn't an option either. So I am left with, well, leaving you, I'm sorry.

Stefanie felt miserable. It wasn't really the rejection, it was shame. She was ashamed in front of a man she liked and it hurt so bad. 

   -Did you really..

Stefanie reached into her purse for some tissue.

   -Did I really what, Stef?

Leon reached for her compassionately.

  -Did you mean the things you said about me just now?

  -Umm, that you're amazing? I did, but it doesn't change the fact that I'am breaking up with you, do you understand?

  -Yes, yes, I do understand, but you are wrong to think that ending this relationship is your only remaining option. I have to go,

Stefanie stood up and resolutely strode out the coffee-shop. The bell at the top of the door jingled distressingly loudly.

Leon sat at the table a minute longer, avoiding the glances of people at the other tables, not that they were looking at him. He contemplated what Stefanie might have meant, dismissing the possibility of her stalking him. He had a call to make..

The next day Stefanie called Leon to tell him she had arranged for quitting smoking - not because of their relationship, but because it was the right thing to do and Leon just had put it right for her (keeping the relationship was a welcome bonus though). Leon was doubtful at first, but Stefanie made him remind her why she'd quit from time to time and she hasn't relapsed for thirty years now.